This game is really getting on my last nerves again.
I try to not let it bother me. I know it's just a game. And after 11+ years I know it's not worth getting upset over. But, my emotions keep getting the best of me. Have been fighting my own emotions to not just blow up most of the night.
First off, from the SOE side there's this god awful 12th anniversary quest. I need ONE item. Most of the people that aren't done need the same item. It's beyond rare. Instead of making the anniversary a fun and enjoyable thing that we remember for years as a good time, they've made it a horrific nightmare that we will still remember for years to come but for all the wrong reasons.
Then there's my guild. These are the slowest gd people I have ever seen on the face of the planet. Nothing, ever, from school to work to clubs to family and friends, nothing I've ever been a part of, no other guild, and nothing I've ever seen is as slow as these people. I understand there's stuff that needs to be done but this is beyond ridiculous. They add an on time bonus and it didn't help. All it did was allow for people like me that show up on time to be paid for waiting hours for everyone else. It's just unreal. By the time we finally start to fight my buffs have already faded and been redone, my patience is gone, and I'm lucky if I'm still awake at all.
And the loot. /sigh I've always said, loot is pointless, it comes and it goes. Everything we get now will be replaced eventually at some point no matter how great it seems when we get it. It's not worth worrying about. BUT, there's a limit. This is messed up. 6.5 months I've been with the guild and I have not won a single thing I've gone in on. Have not won anything at all. SIX AND A HALF MONTHS! Most sane people would've left a guild with a loot policy like this after 3 months or less. I refuse to leave at this point because of my friends in guild. And I've tried to make it better. Or at least I thought I was trying to make it better. Month or so back I posted in our guild's forum rant section my feelings. Damn near started WWIII up in there. Ended up having to bail from my own post. A good 85% of the people didn't even comprehend the points I was making. And those that did have no say or pull in anything so they're just as screwed as the rest of us. Just so unfair in so many ways. They do it by total current dkp only apparently despite the things I've been told by officers. They have said that last loot is taken into consideration at some point. BULLSHIT. Have been told a few things that are untrue like that. Fact is, it's a typical rich get richer while the poor get not a god damn thing ever. I've seen a few people get multiple loots at minimal upgrades over and over while others get nothing ever. For example, someone may get 13 loots in the time I've been in guild, 11 of which I went in on. Some of those were 500+ mana hp upgrades for me and 10 mana hp upgrades for these people and they've won stuff like every week and yet they win over people that show up all the time, do everything they can, etc. and who need the upgrades more and have never won anything like me. It's not an "I didn't win" thing. It's a "several people are just flat out getting screwed 100% of the time" kinda thing. I looked today at the dkp site for those that have 0 dkp spent (like me who has never gotten anything). Sorting those I noticed the top 3 people that got nothing after many, many months and discovered 2 of them left the guild in the last couple days. The third is me... I mean what gives? Is it that those that make the rules are the ones winning the stuff or is it that the ones who make and support these rules are blind to what's goin on or is it that they just don't care since they're getting what they want. I don't know but it sucks for the little people which is what I've become. Not feeling very much wanted at this point. Can't help but wonder if they'd even notice or care if I didn't show up. Issue is me, I'm stubborn, too much so. Enough that I'll stay and be miserable in hopes of a change that will never come versus what I should've done 4 months ago and left to somewhere that gives a damn.
Then there's Underfoot. I've hated this expansion since day one. Was sick and in hospital when it came out so missed the initial flagging. Was still raiding one or two expansions back when I returned after a couple months. By then no one was doing flagging. Had been led to believe that group progression was not needed for raids as long as I had the raid progression stuff done by looting raid flag items and so forth. Since then I've discovered at least 2 missions that this is not true for. One I had to only do one easy mission for a keystone, no biggie. The other one I can banner into but not actually zone into normally. To do so I'd need like 20 something missions that no one in their right mind is doing now. And I can only foresee more problems when we get to the last couple raids. And there's not shit I can or am willing to do about it at this point. So this just nags at me when we raid. Just never sure what's going to happen as far as if I'll be able to even get into the next raid we do. And I still hate this expansion anyhow.
Finally, as if soe and guild issues weren't enough, my game is crashing like insanely. Most of which is c++ errors due to memory leaks and then the game freezes. This is entirely soe's fault and not a whole hell of a lot I can do from my end. And now tonight I have yet another issue. Not sure why but got booted 3x due to no internet connection. Modem showed connected to internet and pc and working properly. But pc suddenly said no internet access and EQ, Xfire, and Raptr all got cut off. Had to reboot modem and pc each time. No clue why this is happening or what started it.
Not sure how much more of all this I can take. Pisses me off after 11+ years this is my main thing I do in my life. Can't work since 2001 from being disabled. Have like 4 friends these days so not a whole lot else to do. This is the one thing I have that's a scheduled, responsibility. The one thing that still causes me to have at least some sort of weekly schedule. So what the heck am I supposed to do? Can't leave, can't quit, that's not even an option. But have lost all patience with everything in this game right now.
