So, I decided to take a break from the 3DS topic and from the EverQuest Anniversary and from playing LEGO Star Wars III: The Clone Wars 3DS so that I could reflect on my telling of how the Mario history goes. Yeah, it was pretty much a random thought out of nowhere.
Our story begins in a magical land and distant time long ago known as "The 80's"! And it begins not with the Mario family of plumbers but with an escaped monkey. Yes, Donkey Kong.
Story goes something like this...
Donkey Kong escapes from somewhere or otherwise shows up outside of DK Country presumably in a city, likely New York. He kidnaps a young Italian woman from Jersey named Daisy. Mario Mario (yes his first and last name are the same) decides for whatever reason to go save Daisy from Donkey Kong. Why he thinks he can do this, being a fat plumber with zero combat skills, still remains unknown. After hurdling some barrels and avoiding a few fires he makes his way to the top of a construction site where Donkey Kong has Daisy imprisoned and miraculously manages to somehow save her from a giant ape that could crush his head with one hand...
The next thing we know, after having saved Daisy, Mario somehow imprisoned Donkey Kong in a cage. Unknown to him at that time, Donkey Kong had a son. Showing up just in time to save his dad from that dastardly plumber, enter Donkey Kong Jr. a.k.a. Diddy Kong. So, another idiotic battle ensues, this time it's the monkey's son that's the hero saving his dad from the evil Mario!
At this point all seems well. Donkey Kong has apparently returned home to Donkey Kong Country with his son Diddy Kong after making a brief stop in Mario's greenhouse for god knows what reason. At which time Mario chased him away with nothing more than bug spray as far as we know. Daisy was free. And so Mario Mario went back to work as a plumber with his brother Luigi Mario.
But!!! Our story does not end there! Oh no, for no sooner does he go back to work on the pipes when all sorts of otherworldly creatures starting emerging from them! What's this? Turtles and ice creatures coming from the pipes? Oh noes! Not thinking that this could be a bad idea, Mario and his brother Luigi take a closer look and upon entering the pipes find themselves transported to another world known as the Mushroom Kingdom. Soon after their arrival they somehow discover that the princess of this kingdom, Princess Peach Toadstool, has been taken captive by Bowser, the king of the Koopa. I guess he must have figured what the heck, he saved Daisy from a giant ape how hard can this be? Little did he know...
To make this next part short, let's just say that time and time again Mario thwarted Bowser's plans, defeated his minions and lackeys and "thought" he saved the princess. But alas, our princess is in another castle... Those few times he actually did save her she only ended up getting caught again and then the entire madness started anew. Heck at one point it got so bad that Mario had this awful dream where he found himself together with Luigi, Peach, and Toad lost in yet another world with even stranger things than the Mushroom Kingdom! As for Peach, what can you say? Maybe she was just asking for it, like she wanted the attention. Maybe she just has really, really bad luck. Or it could be that her guards are little mushroom people...
For decades the story goes on pretty much unchanged. Peach gets caught, Mario saves her with help from Luigi, Yoshi, Toad and others who don't seem to ever really get anything out of the deal. Several others have joined the fight on both sides. For the baddies there have been such head cases as Wario and Waluigi amongst others.
At some point we start to find out a bit more though. We discover that Bowser may have known that Mario and Luigi would become a thorn in his side and that he's even tried to stop them in the past. As babies they were kidnapped by agents of Bowser that were capable of time travel! But, apparently Yoshis live a long time. Because it was Yoshi that saved baby Mario and Luigi. Well, was actually several Yoshis. There would appear to be an entire race of various colored Yoshis actually. With the Yoshi known as... Yoshi... being the green one. Oh come on... seriously? It's not bad enough that Mario's last name is Mario you're gonna tell me that Yoshi is a Yoshi?!? Makes me just want to smash my head into a brick! *bleep bleep bleep bleep sound* *mushroom rises from brick*
On the plus side, while Mario was off doing other stuff... Olympics with Sonic, Mario Parties, various other games he was playing and just blowing off the whole hero thing all together so he could play tennis and race karts; Princess Peach Toadstool FINALLY got sick of being the victim! And she ended up being the hero for once on her own mission of, well, mission of craziness really. I mean she had a talking umbrella that helped her fly and when she had mood swings... well look out cause they were not pretty!
At this point in time Mario has saved the princess several dozen times and been caught himself a few times. He's been saved by Yoshi, saved Luigi, saved by Peach, saved Peach. And somehow still found time to have parties, play just about every sport known to man, best a few crazed apes, and yes, maybe even fix someone's plumbing along the way.
What's next? Who knows. But it will likely be in 3D! And this time it will be real 3D! Not that hey this is 3D but it's actually 2D kinda 3D that we got with Mario 64 on the N64 when they said, hey, it's 3D. But, no, not really 3D, it's 2D that's 3D... But, we all still loved it when we heard, "eeeeets meeeeeee ... Maaaaaarioo!"
